in: Cows

Shark Cow

Shark Cow, not to be confused with the more common Cow Shark, is the child of Lamia and the Minotaur.

Family

Mother

Shark Cow’s mother, Lamia, was the daughter of the sea-god Poseidon, who had an affair with the king of gods, Zeus. Upon discovering this, Zeus’s wife Hera kidnapped and killed Lamia’s children. Made insane from torment, Lamia was disfigured and transformed into a terrifying sea monster that would devour innocent children, because she no longer had her own. Out of sympathy, Zeus bestowed her, among other things, the ability to shapeshift.

Father

Shark Cow’s father, the Minotaur, was created when Zeus’s son Minos prayed to Poseidon to help him claim the throne of Crete. Poseidon obliged, lending him a magnificent white bull, on the condition that he was to return it by sacrificing it to Poseidon. Minos impressed the Cretans so much with his divine bull that he was immediately declared their king. However, wishing to keep the beautiful bull for himself, Minos went against his word and substituted a different bull to sacrifice to Poseidon, one that was boring and regular. Enraged, Poseidon cursed Mino’s wife Pasiphaë with a passionate love for the bull. The child they produced was the Minotaur, a half-man half-bull monster who feasts on human flesh, and was concealed by Minos in a Labyrinth.

What history failed to document was that out of revenge, Minos hooked the Minotaur up with Poseidon’s daughter, Lamia, who took the form of a shark, at which point they conceived Shark Cow together. Having been conceived after the purging of Lamia’s offspring, he remains one of her only surviving heirs.

Appearances

In Cow Review

Shark Cow was featured on Cow Review in season 2 episode 4, wherein Josh described him as some weird shark-cow hybrid created by a being of immense power. His personal nomination for the culprit was Poseidon, with the rationale being that he always seems to be doing weird things. Josh goes on to question what Shark Cow would eat to sustain himself, proposing the possibilities of grass and fish, but being undecided in which he believes. Finally, Josh bestowed Shark Cow a rating of 4/10, reasoning that he is not a full cow.

Trivia

• While it is true that Shark Cow's diet is unknown, the consensus among scientists and historians alike is that he would appropriately eat seagrass.