in: Cows
Cyber Cow
Cyber Cow acquired her name from the iconic virtual reality headset she wears at all times. She manifests as a dairy cow that was cursed at birth by a wicked witch who held a grudge against her owner. The curse dictates that Cyber Cow be made blisteringly angry by the presence of human beings, forcing her to violently charge at and tear them apart. Cyber Cow killed her owner’s wife before being wrangled and pinned down. Refusing to give up on the calf, the farmer made a pilgrimage to Mark Zuckerberg's home to beg for his wisdom.
Cyber Cow was transported through a mix of being held by two of her legs, leaving the other two to kick at the farmer's chest, and chasing the farmer as he ran for his life. The journey took 3 days to complete, and by the end the farmer was battered and bruised and barely alive. To protect Zuckerburg after ringing the doorbell, he wrapped his body around Cyber Cow to contain her rage. Zuckleberg picked them both up and carried them into his workshop, where he crafted a cybernetic virtual reality headset to give to Cyber Cow.
The headset fills her vision and replaces the real world with a virtual one. It replaces humans that she sees with deformed cows and stand on their hind legs. This invention allows Cyber Cow to live a normal life on the farm and grow up to be a dairy cow. In a beautiful act of karma, the farmer (now bound to a wheelchair) discovered that Cyber Cow has the ability to produce the most delicious milk ever tasted. The profits from this global sensation paid for the surgery that allowed him to walk again, and scored him an even better replacement wife.
Appearances
In Cow Review
Cyber Cow was featured on Cow Review in season 1 episode 6, with Josh making such observations as:
- Here is our next pawn.
- This cow looks like it was created by Mark Zuckerberg to steal all our data.
She earned a rating of 4/10, with Josh giving such reasons as:
- He reckons this cow is currently using that nifty VR headset to find your IP address and locate where you live.
- He doesn't want it looking at his search history.
Trivia
- The events of Cyber Cow's conception are what inspired Mark Zuckersberg to invest in virtual reality and eventually buy Oculus.