in: Cows

Beefy Cow

Beefy Cow, son of Got, nicknamed Beefcake by his adoptive human father, Rafael Moreno, is a retired Spanish fighting bull and active security personnel for Blep Cow.

Career

In bullfighting

Beefy Cow was born in Spain on Rafael Moreno’s family estate, used for free-range bull breeding and training to become fighting bulls. At the time, Rafael was the world’s second most accomplished matador, and took pride in breeding the strongest and most aggressive bulls which he would personally face in combat. As the son of Got, the first clone of a fighting bull, Beefy Cow is a member of notable lineage, and thus caught the interest of and was personally adopted by Rafael, who affectionately nicknamed him Beefcake.

Beefy Cow grew to become the most powerful bull to be born on the estate, feared even by Rafael, who believed he would not be able to defeat Beefy Cow. It was this reason, as well as his growing emotional attachment, that saw Beefy Cow instead offered as a challenge to Rafael’s rival, Sebastián Agustín, the then most revered matador. The challenge was accepted, and the ensuing bullfight received the highest attendance on record.

Beefy Cow slaughtered Sebastián during the tercio de varas, the first stage of the fight, in which the matador is only supposed to test the bull for ferocity. Sebastián became the first matador to be killed by a bull in over 3 decades, after being caught between Beefy Cow’s horns and dragged to the side of the arena where he was crushed against the wall on impact. As is tradition, the rest of the cuadrilla enter the arena to kill Beefy Cow. All six men are subsequently slaughtered by Beefy Cow, who remained unweakened since the fight had barely begun. Having just discovered that he was to be put to death regardless of whether he won or lost the fight, Beefy Cow felt betrayed by Rafael and became enraged, charging around the arena destroying anything in front of him. The death of an entire cuadrilla was unheard of until now, causing all remaining staff and performers within the arena to panic and flee, allowing Beefy Cow to escape into the streets, where he caused several car crashes before reaching the wilderness. As the killer of a matador, the Spanish government consider Beefy Cow in debt of his life, and have ordered for him to be killed on sight with a cash reward, barring him from returning to civilization.

A criminal investigation followed the event, and a raid on the Moreno family estate led to the discovery of steroids that had been used to regulate Beefy Cow’s growth. Rafael Moreno and several of his staff were charged with violations of bullfighting regulations, animal abuse, and homicide, and remain incarcerated to this day.

At Blep Cow's farm

With a bounty placed on his life recognised by all of human society, Beefy Cow was headhunted by Blep Cow to be employed as a security guard on her cow farm. Beefy Cow accepted the offer as it was potentially the only way to secure the steroids he was now dependent on, which humanity would no longer provide. While he found solace in this role which he excelled at, by allying with Blep Cow he inherited the scorn that she accrued as a farm owner and thus enslaver of and traitor to her own species, making him a contentious figure and outcast amongst not only humans, but now his own kind as well.

In late 2020, shortly after Blep Cow’s feature on Cow Review, Beefy Cow was transferred to Blep Cow’s private island for an unknown role.

Appearances

In Cow Review

Beefy Cow was featured on Cow Review in season 2 episode 1, the first new episode in 9 months. Josh’s commentary was brief, harkening back to the early episodes of season 1, with at least half of the runtime spent explaining his absence, for which he cited complications with Operation M-00. What Josh did have to say about Beefy Cow was that he is “beefy”. He remarked that Beefy Cow’s strength and masculinity were “unparalleled”, and doubled down on the latter, claiming that Beefy Cow would probably “dominate” and “milk” him, as opposed to the other way round. Josh assigns Beefy Cow a rating of 7/10, citing a fear of what would happen to him if he gave any lower of a score.